Post 1 - Scary Times

*note* this has already happened - and things as of right now are okay.

This post is for journaling purposes.

I went to my first appointment. I was nervous/excited like you typically are when you "think" you might be pregnant.

I have new awesome insurance so I was even meeting a NEW doctor. They go in to check measurements, and due dates and she couldn't find anything. No sack, nothing.

Immediately the OB is talking to me about having a Molar Pregnancy. She told me how dangerous they are and then she went into having a D and C and I cried. I couldn't believe this could be happening.

She decided to send me to the hospital to radiology so get a more in depth look to what is going on. I think I am 7-10 weeks.

I have to go to the hospital ALONE because I made Nathan get the kids from a friends house. I was freaking out, the usual stuff.

I go into the ultrasound and tears are dripping down my face. I can't even look at the technician.

I need to mention she was 8 months pregnant. How cruel. She decided to do the vaginal US just to make sure of a few things and then tells me I need to see the screen. She said I need to look so I have closure. I can't muster the strength, I have been crying and panicking for 2 hours. Nathan isn't there yet and I didn't want to look alone. She told me it's time to just look, she will hold my hand and there it is...our baby. Moving almost dancing. Heart beating like a champ. I can't even contain myself. I hysterically cry and hyperventilate. Nathan walks in just at the right time and is teary eyed himself. The baby looks okay!

We tell the technician it's #5 and she started crying too. It was such a sad and great day.