A local radio station had a debate today and I got to be apart of it...
There is scientific evidence that the average stay at home mom has 30 to 40 hrs free time each week. What do you think?
Here is my side:
I have a 4 year old, a 3 year old a 22 month old and I am 8 months pregnant.
My kids all nap at the same time for about 2-3 hours...during that time I do stuff for just me. I don't do any of my mommy duties because I need the break.
My kids all go to bed at 8:30 and that is when I get more free time. My husband and I do stuff together and read and catch up on our time.
I dont let my kids watch much tv either. While I am doing "chores" they are doing their chores too. If I am in the kitchen doing dishes, they are wiping the tables or bringing me things to wash. Most of our tasks are done this way.
I get more time to do things because I include them in the process. I also make sure that they get at least 1 hour or more of my undivided attention, this is where we play games or do a project or just do something together. I have a blog for other mommies to follow my lead on the activities department.
I wouldn't say 30 hours of free time but I do get quite a bit because I am good at time management, and incorporating my daily tasks into their daily tasks. My kids adapt to my schedule, not the other way around. I have a pretty clean house, we rarely eat out and my kids are well behaved...well for the most part.
Everyday is different, I can't say I have a perfect system but it works for me. It works enough for me to not go crazy of feel overwhelmed every single day.
I don't agree with over scheduling my family either. Everyone in the house has something that just they get to do, preschool, dance etc...
Am I weird? Why were there so many people against me saying they NEVER get free time?
Thoughts?
Umm I think you are crazy. My kids are oblivious to "helping"
ReplyDeleteI don't think you are an "average" stay at home mom. Many moms these days have about 1-2 kids at home at the same time, and you are going on 4. You are a better than average mom!! Also, you ARE really good at time management and you don't just let your kids watch tv all day...you involve them and educate them. I also wonder what their definition is of free-time and are they only counting the hours in a 8-10 hour work day? Because my work day is not that short...and I'm guessing yours isn't either...so I think "free-time" is relative. Overall, I think there are too many variables in a persons life to figure out what the average stay at home mom's schedule is.
ReplyDeleteCharlotte is the only one that takes naps and the other kids are in school at different times! For me free times like never happens! The older the kids get the more busy it gets for me and my husband! My Husband is also in the bishopric and his job is makes it hard for him to have any free time! So I cant believe they would say that! I am one busy mom who haves no free time in less I am alone away from the house!
ReplyDeleteI would like to know how you do it.
ReplyDeleteI know that you do do it but I want to know how.
My kids are just messy animals all of the time.
You are amazing.
I feel the same way you do. I don't feel overwhelmed (don't get me wrong...I do have my moments when I do). The only chore my kids aren't allowed to help with is cleaning the tub and that's because the last time they helped I had soft scrub with bleach EVERYWHERE! I do have a lot less time now that I have school-aged kids which sounds funny. However, they have more after school activities so I have to be even more vigilant with my time management. e.g. making sure dinner is done or ready to go in the oven when I pick them up from school etc.
ReplyDeleteI too have "my" time during nap time.
I don't think you're crazy.
Mandie Carlson Hmmm... must be honest I have no free time really unless I leave the house to go boxing! But I am not an "average" stay at home mom either having a special needs child is extremly demanding and over whelming! I am very stressed every day.. and although I love my children very much I do wish they had all come much later in my life as I am worn down in every way! Physcially; emotionaly and spiritually
ReplyDeleteI definitely don't fit the category of free time yet-i think it comes in stages and depends on the person. I have been in and out of pregnancies, hospitals, buying and fixing a house, there hasn't been much free time at all, unless i stay up WAY too late making it hard for the next day. My situation is different than most though, so from my side, I do NOT get 30-40 hours free each week. maybe 1-2 hours a day.
ReplyDeleteI think you have been blessed with the abilities needed for your family to run it the way you do. I don't think I know of one other person that gets things done the way you do. You rock!
ReplyDeleteI have a child with Autism and I had 5 kids in 5 years! So for me I am different than most moms! I get real sick when I am pregnant and I don't have family that lives up here! I am with Mandie on this! If I want me time I have to get out of the house on my own or stay up late! I still feel very blessed to have these amazing kids and for a husband who is the best! I could not do any of this without him!
ReplyDeleteYou're super woman, Valerie! My house runs fairly smooth, but it's at the cost of my free time. My priorities are to feed my family healthy meals, be happy and live each day with joy. To accomplish this lately, the house is pretty dirty and the laundry gets washed but rarely folded and put away lol. I also believe in attachment parenting so I sleep with my babies and I nurse on demand for 2 plus years. That's a HUGE commitment, but it's very important to me and I love it. So yeah, I figure I'll get free time when my kids are in college lol :)
ReplyDeleteYou're super woman, Valerie! My house runs fairly smooth, but it's at the cost of my free time. My priorities are to feed my family healthy meals, be happy and live each day with joy. To accomplish this lately, the house is pretty dirty and the laundry gets washed but rarely folded and put away lol. I also believe in attachment parenting so I sleep with my babies and I nurse on demand for 2 plus years. That's a HUGE commitment, but it's very important to me and I love it. So yeah, I figure I'll get free time when my kids are in college lol :)
ReplyDeleteHere is my two cents. I think the words "free time" are suggestive. Because the things I do in my "free time" I don't consider optional the way the working moms see it. For example, I sew, which is a hobby, but also a business which earns money, and a way to save money by making things I would otherwise buy. I also read in my "free time" but I read books that help me become a better "household manager". (ie. my latest book was by Dave Ramsey) So yes, I run and manage my household in way that gets things accomplished, but I don't consider my time "free". The things i do in my so called "free time" are only for the betterment of the family and the household. To me "free time" suggests I am sitting on the couch watching TV for those 40 hours which certainly is NOT the case. I would rather they find a different way to talk about "free time" because it just makes us housewives sound lazy.
ReplyDeleteAll the haters need to SHUT UP! If you don't want to read about Val and her amazing kids and her being amazing (she is super adamant and that works for her) DON'T READ HER BLOG. It is a public forum, get over it! She has a husband who helps her ALL THE TIME don't hate her because she puts her family above herself and can take care of business. I would LOVE to be like her when I have kids but I doubt I will live up to that but guess what I WILL NEVER judge her for being better than me at something. Everyone who is supporting Val, thank you, she is worth it and deserves EVERYTHING she has. Only YOU can make YOURSELF feel bad about yourself and your life.
ReplyDeleteIf you count sleep as free time then 30-40 a week is about right!
ReplyDelete"I was listening to the same radio station. I have been both a stay at home mom (which I hated), work outside of home mom and now a work from home mom. To me I did have much more free time when I was a SAHM. I now work 50+ hrs and week and also have to work in the cooking, cleaning and doing stuff with the kids somehow. So needless to say I have 0 free time. But everyone's idea of free time is different. One lady on the radio considered reading to her kids "work". Reading to my kids is something not only do I not have time to do but if I did I would consider it free time. I think it is easier to work in free time as a SAHM because for the most part you are on your own time. You can choose to not clean for a day or not do laundry for the day and have free time. I can't decide to not stay attached to the phone to have free time because I would be fired."
ReplyDeleteMy first thought was "Does sleep count as free time?" haha
ReplyDeleteBut really, I would say I MAKE about 15 hours of free time for myself a week, not including weekends. I take an hour in the morning while the kids play independently to savor my coffee, catch up online, get dressed, etc. Then for 1-2 hours at naptime (my darling youngest insists on waking up at 2:15 every day regardless of what time I put her down) I do whatever the heck I want! Haha! Like you, I take that time for ME, otherwise I spend the rest of the day cross and short tempered. Mommy needs down time to be the best I can be.
So, in conclusion, I think you are fabulous at your "job" and that 30-40 hours a week is not what most moms "get" in free time.
It makes me wonder how much time is spent caring for the kids, lets say 40-50 minimum a week (and we all know that number is MUCH higher some weeks). So that is a full time job. Plus, moms don't get the weekends off. Ok, so doesn't everyone who works or stays at home caring for kids ALL have the same "free" time? I'm not sure why they were attacking stay at home moms because everyone has the same amount of time in a day. Being a parent is hard work and there are a lot of husbands who love to go to work because they know how much work it is to stay home :-) your awesome Valerie!
ReplyDeleteWhy did that "Liz and Cory" girl get mad? I think everyone is different. Everyone chooses to manage their time differently. Some people classify "free time" as sitting on your bum bum not doing much. I know there are moms out there who probably don't do much during the day, but there are also moms who do a ton, sometimes too much. I don't think I could really figure out my "free time" unless I logged it. As a mother, your time pretty much always revolves around your family, no matter what. Like what one mom said, she sews and sells the things she creates, so her hobby is "work" for her family too. It's all relative I say. You can do a lot and are very scheduled, not everyone can or want to do that. But more power to you for having the desire and ability to do so.
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